Learning to rest

The 8 days in hospital were hard but also had some bits which made my heart swell with joy.

In these times it was the REAL things in life that still stood. The food was a no-go, couldn't rock any clothes other than the hospital gowns and granny compression socks, used a walking frame to move my frail freaked out body, got stabbed before had even had breakfast every morning (bloodtests!) then with a painkiller in "either your thigh or glutes" (I always quickly replied, Thigh please! ...both spots were painful but I preferred more dignity intact, ahaha), painkiller+antibiotic cocktail entrees before my clear liquids "dinner", sleep was a non-event, could eat nothing...

...BUT...

The love and company of others in adjacent hospital beds, the light of the sun coming in, the help and care of nurses, the peace of my heart. playing with the bed remote, giving to others, laughing at my roommates' cheek with the nurses (calling the bloodtest lady "Ms Dracula", tehe) and general banter made my heart glow still.

Seeing people sicker than you makes your heart feel grateful and taps into the very heart of human being with care and hope for others being paramount!

For example; next to me on my 4th night Bruce was wheeled in at 11pm. He had no teeth, no saliva, half a tongue (lost to cancer), a chest infection and now a sharp pain in the stomach that had brought him to hospital that night .... but he had a faithful, loving wife at his side at every waking moment and so he was able to cope and still smile when waves of pain passed. That is the power of love. They had been married for 60 years. It was just one of the beautiful things I got to see during my week+1 day in hospital.

The most beautiful thing sure was not the view, the hospital gowns, the food, the flowers brought in... it was the people around me.

Don't lose sight of that beauty- the wonder of how unique each person is and their stories.

The pic below shows my joy (somewhat mixed with painface) after reading a card from the 20+ residential assistants I worked with in the halls which was dropped off to me.

The card title cracked me up... "Let the good times roll". Because, given the circumstances, the only rolling I was doing was walking to the bathroom and up the corridor with my walking frame. Hahaha. They see me rollin' they be hatin', hahaha :P :)

The moments others took to visit, message and write to me meant so so much! They led my heart to hum and a smile to stay on my exhausted face!

You know I didn't know if (despite being on the most hardcore antibiotics they could order in) the infection they had cleared out wouldn't return with a vengeance and consume me. I lived in that moment and found that all moments were good.

The verses I was led to dwell on during times reflecting were:

• "Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?"- Matthew 6:26

• "Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."- Isaiah 40:30-31

• "Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me."- 2 Corinthians 12:9

• "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."- Jeremiah 29:11

I really missed the fresh air and open spaces of the outside world though as the days ticked over waiting for my body to recover & stabilise in Ward 29. I missed my runs, swimming and my bike too...

I could see the a green patch of field from the ward and would find myself wishing I was out there dancing around (even in my hospital gown...yolo), haha. Dreams are free you know ;)

8 days later I was well enough for them to send me home sweet home. I could do more than 1 lap of the corridor without feeling like dizzy and needing a nap plus eat full hospital meals with ease, so yeah, peaking fitness hehe so they sent me home before I started causing trouble :P

I said bye to my Ward 29 patient buddies and left cards for all my nurses before Mum & Dad shipped me back to my hall.

I thought the discharge from the hospital was my freedom but was really only the beginning of another recovery stretch- I had to not just survive each day but actually function and get some stuff (uni work+study and walking to dining hall) accomplished each day.

Sleep was hard without the perfectly adjusted angling and multiple cushions of my hospital bed- the flat position stretched out my scars.

I couldn't walk faster than snail speed (okay well maybe I could have beaten a snail, but that's about it, hha) and so my XTERRA triathlon in Hawaii was well and truly a no go, but I missed the tri crew, speeding around and being able to be fast if I wanted to be!

Resting up was so necessary though, a nana nap a day would keep the doctor away for real. Not gonna lie either, chilling out a bit was kinda nice, hahah!

A nurse up in Ward 29 told me the nurse from the post-surgery room had been telling everyone that I was "way too happy to have just come out of surgery and had 6 days at home with a bad appendix". You know what, it wasn't my own joy in that moment, I am only human, but it was the joy of the Lord Jesus in me, "and the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus"- Phillipians 4:7. That's what I have to lean in to each and every day of the hectic world!

The scar kinda speaks for itself in terms of the journey me and my body have been on!

My next posts will showcase my tentative return to "normal" Eva "Tigger" Craig lifestyle... in all it's painful but rewarding steps! Plus some yummy sneakily healthy recipes, any crazy cool things I get the chance to be a part of and whatever post requests I get too :)